I was 50/50 on whether I wanted to write this blog post or not. I don't know where to start, or what to say. I didn't know if it would make me feel worse writing about it or make me feel better and more determined to make some changes in my life.
So, yeah, I've gained weight... and I'm the biggest I've ever been.
When I went on holiday back in August, I packed all of my shorts and I couldn't fit in any of them. What a waste of luggage space that was and I had to wear the same ol' outfits again and again, bore. I used to go to the gym two or three times a week to get that holiday bod ready for Mexico.
That obvs didn't work did it?
I've no longer been able to fit into my clothes, my tummy sticks out looking like I'm six months pregnant, I have a huge ass and massive hips. My thighs rub together when I walk causing chub rub which is fucking sore.
I feel so uncomfortable. I literally live in my leggings and stretchy vest tops.
It has been affecting my life. I had four outfit posts planned for my blog, Liam had taken the photos for me for one outfit post and when we got back home and I looked through the photos, I cried my eyes out. I felt disgusting. I don't want to go to the gym anymore because I'm self conscious. I don't want to go on nights out or out with my friends because I have nothing nice to wear.
I've gained weight because I have had a really shit and stressful year and my depression has hit me like a tonne of bricks. When I'm depressed, I eat. And as I've been eating, the bigger I get. The more I put on weight, the more it depresses me and I turn back to comfort food. It's like going round in a vicious circle.
But do you know what? It's no ones business how much weight I've put on because I've learnt to accept that it's pretty fucking normal. I still feel shit about it, but it's normal! I will go to the gym and work my arse off to get my body back. I will go out with my friends and live my life rather than sitting around at home, crying and eating comfort food.
I'm human and I have to accept that.
I've gained weight because I have had a really shit and stressful year and my depression has hit me like a tonne of bricks. When I'm depressed, I eat. And as I've been eating, the bigger I get. The more I put on weight, the more it depresses me and I turn back to comfort food. It's like going round in a vicious circle.
But do you know what? It's no ones business how much weight I've put on because I've learnt to accept that it's pretty fucking normal. I still feel shit about it, but it's normal! I will go to the gym and work my arse off to get my body back. I will go out with my friends and live my life rather than sitting around at home, crying and eating comfort food.
I'm human and I have to accept that.
You have no idea how much I relate to this. I've been thinking about writing a post myself, but I still can't express myself right.
ReplyDeleteIt honestly sucks to look at yourself and know that you once looked better and it's mostly your own fault (at least in my situation). This is not to put you down, it's just to let you know I know the struggle, you're not alone and if you wanna talk about it, my contacts are below :*
Hopefully, we'll get out of this state pretty soon :)
xo Honey - blog Royal Lifestyle - Twitter - Instagram
Honestly, it makes me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone and I'm not the only one feeling like this. Since this post, I have tried a couple of diets but comfort food is still trying to take over :( takes time I guess x
DeleteI can relate to this a lot, a combination of illness, stress and eventually laziness caused me to gain weight. Something that's completely had a massive effect on my self-confidence and how I view myself. However, I've gradually come round to the idea of accepting it and just telling myself to slowly work myself round to a healthy, balanced lifestyle that makes me happy and at least physically makes me feel good!
ReplyDeleteI hope manage to begin to feel better and manage to at least partially take yourself out of the cycle (though let yourself enjoy those foods you seek comfort in)! You can do it!
http://kkochsongi.co.uk
Yes!!! Thank you Jasmine, means a lot! xx
DeleteI know exactly how you feel! I've recently put on quite a bit of weight recently too. I know I should probably stop complaining and start going to the gym but it just doesnt interest me at all! You still look gorgeous though hun!
ReplyDeleteChloe X http://www.chloelxuise.com
Aww thank you Chloe. Yeah I'm the same about the gym. I can never go by myself either, I praise the girls that walk in and just get on with their session haha xx
DeleteWe've all felt like this you're not alone. You need to stay positive girl, you can get through this! x
ReplyDeleteTrying so hard to keep positive. Not fitting in any of my clothes just puts me back down again :( it'll be okay and will all work out in the end! x
DeleteLove this blog post babe - so honest and open. Gaining weight isn't too much of a big deal, I was a size 18 this time last year and now I'm a size 12. Weight can go up and down and as long as you've got confidence and are happy in your own skin that's all that matters. 💜✨
ReplyDeleteWith love, Alisha Valerie x
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Aww thank you Alisha! Yes girl, that's amazing! xx
DeleteI 100% relate to you and I feel exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteIt’s so hard to do and I hope you feel better soon. I know it all boils down to how we feel ourselves but you do look fab.
http://littlemissmelanie.com
Aw thank you Mel xx
DeleteI 100% relate to this post - I've always been self conscious about my weight. And mine does change quite a bit - we need to find our inner beauty and feel more confident on how we look. Sending lots of love and you look gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteSarah X
I'm so glad I'm not alone! I think it's because of social media nowadays. Thank you so much Sarah, you're so sweet! x
DeleteEveryone has their own body issues and it's totally normal to feel like this! I've gained so much weight since I had Reuben and two years on the baby weight is no longer an excuse but I've accepted that this is who I am now. It's just about learning to be comfortable in your body as long as you're healthy! I'm happy as I am for now and will probably join the gym to tone up when he's older and I have the time. Also you look amazing if it's any consolation!! x
ReplyDeleteGemma Louise
Aww thank you Gemma! Yes, that's what I need to learn and say to myself! x
DeleteI can relate to this so much, I haven't felt happy with my body for a long time either, it's so normal to feel unhappy with your body though - I hope you feel better soon, you look incredible! x
ReplyDeleteThank you Katrina, it means a lot!! I'm just so glad I don't feel alone with this xx
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