Monday, 15 October 2018

I've Gained Weight and I Feel Pretty Shit About It

I was 50/50 on whether I wanted to write this blog post or not. I don't know where to start, or what to say. I didn't know if it would make me feel worse writing about it or make me feel better and more determined to make some changes in my life. 

So, yeah, I've gained weight... and I'm the biggest I've ever been. 
When I went on holiday back in August, I packed all of my shorts and I couldn't fit in any of them. What a waste of luggage space that was and I had to wear the same ol' outfits again and again, bore. I used to go to the gym two or three times a week to get that holiday bod ready for Mexico. 
That obvs didn't work did it?

I've no longer been able to fit into my clothes, my tummy sticks out looking like I'm six months pregnant, I have a huge ass and massive hips. My thighs rub together when I walk causing chub rub which is fucking sore.
 I feel so uncomfortable. I literally live in my leggings and stretchy vest tops.

It has been affecting my life. I had four outfit posts planned for my blog, Liam had taken the photos for me for one outfit post and when we got back home and I looked through the photos, I cried my eyes out. I felt disgusting. I don't want to go to the gym anymore because I'm self conscious. I don't want to go on nights out or out with my friends because I have nothing nice to wear.

I've gained weight because I have had a really shit and stressful year and my depression has hit me like a tonne of bricks. When I'm depressed, I eat. And as I've been eating, the bigger I get. The more I put on weight, the more it depresses me and I turn back to comfort food. It's like going round in a vicious circle.

But do you know what? It's no ones business how much weight I've put on because I've learnt to accept that it's pretty fucking normal. I still feel shit about it, but it's normal! I will go to the gym and work my arse off to get my body back. I will go out with my friends and live my life rather than sitting around at home, crying and eating comfort food. 

I'm human and I have to accept that.


Monday, 24 September 2018

LUSH Halloween Goodies 2018

lush halloween blog post 2018

Yes, I know it's early but when Lush's Halloween range came out, I had to pop into my local store and check it out. I have only ever tried the sparkly pumpkin from their Halloween range and I loved it so much that I wanted to get it again this year, but I wanted to try new stuff instead.

The first thing I picked up was the Ectoplasm shower scream, I just love the fact that it's bright green. It smells even better than it looks too, it smells very citrusy and actually reminds me of the smell of marzipan. Like all of Lush's shower creams, it leaves your skin super soft and you can literally smell it on yourself for the rest of the day.
I was also going to get the Ectoplasm jelly bomb but I never did in the end, it was either I buy one or the other. I didn't wanna spend too much dollar because yano, Christmas is coming and Lush have now also released their Christmas range. Soz bank account.

lush ectoplasm review

lush monsters ball

lush bewitched bubble bar

When I was in store, I couldn't work out if I liked the scent of Monsters Ball or not. It seems insanely popular every year so I thought I'd give it a go. It smells richly sweet, you can definitely smell the citrus in it. I am yet to pop it into a bath so I can't really tell you whether I definitely like it or not. But after reading five star reviews and blog posts, I think I'll be happy about this purchase. Also, look how bloody cute it is!

One thing I knew I was already going to buy was the Bewitched bubble bar. This little kitty cat smells so fresh, it's got such an Autumnal smell to it. I have already had a bath using some of this and it made me feel so relaxed and cosy. It also turned my bath a greyish/black colour. I will try and make this last until the end of Autumn, otherwise I will probably have to buy another one. It's so good!

Do you ever buy anything from Lush's Halloween range? What are your favourites?

Sunday, 16 September 2018

A/W 2018 Wardrobe Wishlist

autumn and winter wishlist 2018

My favourite time of the year is here! Call me crazy, but I love the colder, darker mornings and evenings. There are so many cute pieces about in stores for this season so I had to make a wishlist because I want everything!

You can't not have a thick knitted jumper this time of the year. This one from River Island particularly caught my eye. I just love the quality of the material and how big the roll neck is. Buy it here for £36. Another staple I'm loving this season is leopard print, it's everywhere you go. I love the style of this tie front top, you can style it both down and up. Buy it here for £18. Keeping along the lines of leopard print, I saw these heeled boots on MissPap, aren't they just gorgeous!? They're perfect to add a little something else to an outfit. Buy them here for £25.

I had a black poncho like this grey one last year and I basically lived in it, get it here for £17.99.
I wanted another basic jumper in my wardrobe and I found this gorgeous grey off the shoulder one from Pretty Little Thing, buy it here for £15. Yellow is everywhere this season and I love it, I don't know why because I don't really wear yellow but I saw this kimono on Boohoo and added it straight to my wishlist. Get it here for £12. Whilst I was on the Boohoo site, I saw this fur hooded cream coat for £45 which is so good! I have been on the lookout for a white/cream coat for ages as I always stick to wearing black. Buy it here.

Since writing this wishlist, I have already went out and bought this mustard skirt. It's amazing quality and fits so nice. Plus, it gives me aaall the Clueless vibes. Get it here for £9.99. Staying along the lines of the checked patterns, because I always wear white, grey and black, this jacket would be perfect! I'd most probably wear it all the time. It looks so cosy too. Get it here for £85. I love the look of this monochrome twisted jumper, it would look lush with a pair of high waisted jeans and some boots. Buy it here for £20.

I really don't need anymore ankle boots but River Island stocks the best Winter boots! I saw these suede Chelsea boots with the black patent and gold detailing and I fell in love. Buy them here for £40. Burgundy is always a must have colour for this time of the year, and this cropped striped hoody would be perfect with some high waisted jeans and trainers. Buy it here for £15.

What have you had your eye on ready for the new season?

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